We all need the touch of the others when we are lonely — and the hand of another can be particularly, well, handy.

The best solution we’ve ever seen has been the Man’s SOM Hand Type Handjob Machine, which is a bestselling masturbot that is exactly what its name suggests.

If you don’t want to go the whole hog, though, there are always onaholes in the shape of a woman’s hands or even special stockings-style gloves that make a handjob feel like someone else is doing the business for you.

What about if you are a girl who wants someone to squeeze your hand, say, during a horror movie but don’t have a boyfriend? Fear not, someone has found a solution to this dilemma, too. But it’s almost as creepy as something out of a horror film.

Yamane(ko) (@ymn_co_19) posted photos of her experimental device on Twitter on March 13th and the results went viral.

As a “device” goes, it’s pretty low-fi. It’s essentially a single surgical glove that’s filled with flour. But for Yamane(ko), that’s apparently enough to provide comfort for her during those lonely moments, such as an outing to watch a movie on her own.

She took her “fake boyfriend hand” with her on a date to watch the latest Osomatsu-kun movie at the theater. Here it is traveling with her by car. It got its own seat.

Readers with good memories may well remember there was once a Japanese iPhone case that looked like a fake hand — perfect when you want someone to caress your face.

It’s cherry blossom (sakura) season here in Tokyo. Visit the big parks like Ueno, Shinjuku Gyoen, Yoyogi, and so on and you will find so many people it will jam your phone signal. There are plenty of groups and families, but also quite a few couples or would-be couples since hanami (cherry blossom viewing) is a prime date activity. If you’re in a park in central Tokyo, you’ll probably see a fair few interracial couples as well. It is also possible for the industrious to get some great panchira up-skirt views of all those ladies lounging around on the grass.

If all this sakura makes you horny, then you need to check out the Kanojo Toys spring sale, which is offering 20% off ALL adult toys storewide for the duration of the cherry blossom season in Tokyo. Just use the coupon code sakura to claim your discount on the toys of your choice.

Some of our recent favorites among the lineup include the Nasty Crest Sexy Body Stickers, which are temporary tattoos with a tribal design, the Ryuukishi Bloody Saga Premium Hole series of masturbator toys based on characters from the game Ryuukishi Bloody Saga, the Nipple Up! Syringe Nipple Cups niple play toys, and the Vorze A10 Cyclone SA+ Plus Sex Machine, which is the latest model in the bestselling series of masturbots by Rends.

For more great Japanese toys now available at a great price, check out Kanojo Toys.

Wet Woman in the Wind (Kaze ni nureta onna, 風に濡れた女) was released in Japan in 2016 to relatively little fanfare and the “queasy sex romp” even escaped our busy radar screens. (It seems it was one of the Roman Porno reboots we wrote about at the time, but we only seemed to take notice of Anti-Porno.)

We are catching up with it now and finding there are some merits to the sex drama, about a washed-up Japanese playwright (played by Tasuku Nagaoka) in search of himself in the countryside.

It stars the lovely and nudity-friendly Yuki Mamiya alongside Michiko Suzuki, who is not an actress we have heard of before and seems to have just one credit to her name.

In the first sex scene, Michiko Suzuki wears a figure-hugging dress that she slips off when she seduces the lucky protagonist on a sofa. She then starts riding him naked as she really gets into the sex. Randomly, Yuki Mamiya then comes in while holding a lamp, clambers onto the writhing couple, and joins in the sex.

Other sex scenes features the main guy alone with Yuki Mamiya (including one in which she emerges through a roof mid-coitus) and also one where Suzuki has sex outside.

The sex scenes are easily available on streaming sites if you do a bit of searching. We took some so-so screengrabs to give you a taster.

Formerly known professionally as Yuki Mogami, Mamiya is one of the to-go actresses for soft-core and erotic movies in Japan. Her previous nude credits include Sweet Whip (where she did full-frontal nudity), The Crawler in the Attic, and Torture Club.

She also appeared in a great (and hot) Durex commercial.

Ah, Japanese television. Not the place to go for cutting-edge drama or provocative news stories. But it is the place to go for bizarre shows that tread a fine line between porn and… well, we’re not quite sure what.

Case in point is this show called Zennihon Waga Ie no Ofuro Osho (全日本わが家のお風呂大賞, All-Japan Our Bath Grand Prize) on the streaming channel FOD broadcast on March 27th and apparently introducing bathing spots around Japan.

The actual point of this show seems purely to let viewers leer at the body of such ladies as Natsumi Hirajima, who looks frankly freakin’ awesome when she is relaxing in the hot water. Though we would definitely like to get a look at her without that wet towel on, just the way it clings to her body is enough to provide more than a fair few tingles between our legs.

Since leaving AKB48 way back in 2012, Hirajima has carved out a successful career in gravure-dom, where her adorable curves and penchant for alluring underwear has won her legions of fans.

She’s no a stranger to shoots in baths.

Other gravure idols featured in the show included Airi Shimizu.

Back in 2010, a Japanese book about school baseball and inspired by the management theories of Peter Drucker became a surprise bestseller and then, the following year, adapted into a film starring ex-AKB48 idol Atsuko Maeda — underling the popular cult that surrounds the management guru’s ideas in Japan.

The novel was Moshidora (in full, Moshi Koko Yakyu no Joshi Manager ga Drucker no “Management” o Yondara, What If the Female Manager of a High School Baseball Team Read Drucker’s “Management”?). Clearly its success has not been forgotten, or Drucker’s theories are still read a lot in the adult industry, because top Japanese masturbator brand Toy’s Heart has created a new series of onaholes that parody Moshidora, at least in terms of its famous title.

There are five types in the Moshi… series, each based on a different kind of character with whom you are invited to imagine “What if…” scenarios.

The Moshitai Sex Education Teacher Hands-On Lesson Onahole is based on the very best kind of sex ed experience you can think of! This young and nubile Japanese teacher’s love tunnel is structured into three “lessons,” beginning with a beautiful example of female anatomy that makes penetration so wonderful. Next, you will be shown how a vagina curves and hugs, before you get to experience the tight uterus and what making babies really feels like!

The Moshiyoga Hot Japanese Yoga Teacher Onahole is a more classic trope: sex with a sporty and athletic young woman, though her penchant for “hot yoga” and passion for physical exertion has resulted in a toy with an unusual flame-red design.

The Moshinaka Daily Nakadashi Creampie Girl Onahole invites you to cum inside and “heal” a sick girl or she will die.

Finally, the Moshiyan Yankii Girl Virgin Onahole takes the fantasy of slutty yankii girls and adds a big “What if” element: what if she was both slutty and a virgin? If this improbably combination was true, it might well look (and feel) a bit like this.

The four Moshi… onaholes are available internationally from our friends at Kanojo Toys.

Last year, Hirokazu Kore-eda’s film Shoplifters attracted a lot of critical buzz for its socially engaged nuances and rightfully won it several big awards and nominations.

Call us boring. We couldn’t help but take a different interest in the film: for its brief but welcome nude scene with the lovely Sakura Ando.

Ando is shown lounging naked on her stomach on the floor, displaying her slinky body and beautiful tanned skin. We don’t get to see much flesh, just her buttocks and a flash of her breast as she quickly turns over to cover herself up.

Want to see more? Then you will be pleased to hear that this was not Sakura Ando’s nude debut. We also know of her nude sex scenes in the 2015 film adaptation of the Banana Yoshimoto novel Asleep (Shirakawa yofune) and it seems like she’s stripped for some other roles, too.

More visually inventive, though, was this steamy (as in, bathtub-steamy) nude photo shoot she once did.

The 33-year-old Ando was long the darling of small dramas in Japan but has now broken out into mainstream success, in part thanks to Shoplifters but more importantly her starring role in the current NHK Asadora morning drama series, Manpuku.

All this fame means she is less likely to take challenging roles in edgy dramas — and that almost certainly means no more nudity or sex scenes. Well, we can but hope.

Incidentally, Ando is related to Inukai Tsuyoshi, a former prime minister of Japan, and her sister, Momoko, is an acclaimed film director. Quite a family.

The Apple of the adult toy industry in Japan, Tenga still has a sense of humor, which is often very much in evidence its marketing. After producing romantic chocolates for Valentine’s Day, it continues its funny and inventive promotional efforts now with the Tenga Furikake, which is aimed at horny male students with big appetites.

No, not bukkake. There’s already plenty of toys for that. Furikake, as in the topping that you sprinkle onto a bowl of rice.

Naturally, this isn’t your average furikake. It contains ginger, oysters, and garlic, which are meant to improve your stamina and erectile strength. So this is furikake that will help you get harder for longer.

If you want to buy the Tenga Furikake, you’ll have to be very lucky. Only 100 bottles are available and they are being given away free to people who buy the Premium Tenga Premium Freshers Cup — a special version of the Premium Tenga Onacup toy designed especially for college freshers starting school this month — and then enter the contest using an included QR code. Applications are accepted until the end of May but you have to be resident in Japan.

This is the latest nude selfie lady (裏垢女子) that caught our eye.

She’s apparently a “young Japanese wife.” We can’t prove this with any certainty, but we can definitely say that she has breasts and pale Asian skin to die for.

While she sometimes uses filters to hide her face and identity, this is often very minimal and at least one shot is totally open, giving us a full look at her beauty. What a stunner.

If the paper she is holding up is true (and we are reading it right), the clue to finding her is the code eDDIxZN30 but this doesn’t seem to yield results on Google Search or Twitter. Help us out if you’re in the know about how to keep abreast of this lady’s, ahem, breasts.

A new commercial for German DIY store chain Hornbach has stirred controversy. It shows two unkempt and decidedly unhandsome white men getting all sweaty outside in the garden, watched by two scientific-looking bods. The men are then instructed to strip for the observers and hand over their apparently smelly briefs.

The scene cuts to an unnamed East Asian city that looks like Hong Kong or a futuristic Tokyo. A woman approaches a vending machine and buys a package. it turns out to be one of the hairy German guys’ briefs, sealed and fresh. The woman, who looks Japanese, gleefully opens the package and takes a delighted sniff.

“So riecht das Frühjahr” (That’s how the spring smell), says the slogan in German.

Though it is not made explicit, the ad is obviously riffing on the quasi-urban legend of used panties vending machines in Japan — actually, they do exist, but they are just very rare. As such, it suggests that Japanese or Asian women love Western men so much that they will pay for their dirty underwear, just to enjoy the pungency.

Since it was uploaded in mid-March (and presumably also airing on German TV) the ad has sparked a backlash, perhaps not surprisingly, and accused of promoting stereotypes of subservient Asian women. But to the credit of Hornbach, they didn’t do the thing that Japanese brands usually do, which is immediately take the video down and expunge it from public view as if the scandal never happened.

Instead, Hornbach has publicly defended the ad as not intentionally racist and that they also used non-Asians in similar marketing.

It remains up (for now) but there is a bilingual message from the brand about how they are taking the reaction seriously and welcome further feedback.

Invitation to Hornbach for an open dialogue about “So riecht das Frühjahr / how spring smells”

Regarding our spot “how spring smells” we received many emotional comments and stories from the Asian community.

We are taking it very seriously when people feel hurt and angered by our advertisements.

That’s why we are seeking a personal and direct dialogue with the affected users and communities and want to invite you, other speakers of the #Ich_wurde_geHORNBACHt campaign and all other interested people to Hornbach. We want to listen, learn, have an open dialogue and understand the feelings and anger that arose through this advertisement.

There has been an outcry in South Korea, where the MeToo movement has made stronger inroads recently, leading to many scandals in the film and music industries, alongside the clamp-down on hidden cameras in women’s toilets.

In Japan, the story has been picked up by the right-wing website Itai News, so expect it to spread.

In our experience, the opposite is true. Japanese women, in various states of smelliness or fragrance, package up their underwear and sell them to willing male buyers. And this isn’t limited to local guys. We know a shop where you can always order Japanese used panties, real and simulated, and have them shipped sealed and fresh to your home.

When the new Japanese era name of Reiwa was announced on April 1st, sparking intense speculation about how best to translate it into English, our first thought was: that could be a great porn star’s name!

Admittedly the kanji characters (令和) are unusual, so it would have to be a homonym. Unfortunately we couldn’t find any decent examples on a brief search

Nonetheless, the most amusing such parallel we’ve spotted so far has actually derived from the official English translation of the name: beautiful harmony.

An online search for “beautiful harmony,” though, may bring up quite a different kind of result than the government intends. It is the name of a theme song by Yui Sakakibara for an erotic anime video game called Buraban! The bonds of melody about… lesbian schoolgirls who play in a brass band!

Given their musical skills, these young ladies are inevitably very good at sucking and blowing instruments.

The Yuzu Soft adult game, which was first released in 2006 and is rated 18 and over, is hardly the kind of beautiful harmony that we expect the government bods had in mind.

The Reiwa era begins on May 1st. Will it anything like Buraban! The bonds of melody for you? Let’s hope so.

Virtual dating games and services are very well-established in Japan, and YouTube is the next logical step in this evolution. One of the biggest virtual YouTuber idols at the moment is Shiro-chan, whose videos offer private dining experiences.

Now the Japanese virtual YouTuber Note Takehana has upped the stakes with a crowdfunding campaign to remake the titular VTuber with 3D computer graphics. To encourage fans to contribute, “she” is offering supporters a range of merchandise depending on how far their wallets stretch.

So what’s the top perk? If you fork out ¥1 million ($9,000), you get a bottle of Note Takehana’s virtual breast milk!

Being, well, virtual, the character’s milk won’t actually be drinkable, so the lucky (and very generous) backer will essentially get a bottle of milk to suck on while Note Takehana provides visuals that complement the experience of nourishing on her nipples.

If this all sounds crazy, know that Note Takehana’s creator has already exceeded the crowdfunding campaign’s ¥3 million (nearly $27,000) goal thanks to more than 120 backers, and all with 51 days still to go on the campaign. And the most expensive perk with the breast milk has sold out (only one was available). So someone is going to get a nice drink from a 3D virtual idol in the near future.

But here’s a reality check for y’all: Note Takehana is actually male. The character on screen is very much female but the real-life artist behind the digital character is apparently a male illustrator. That being said, the character/YouTuber’s nickname is “mama” — and this latest lactophiliac stunt will only enhance that reputation.

We think we probably do more than enough damage to Brand Japan by our daily blog posts without perpetuating media myths about “sexless Japan.” We see a lot of articles and coverage of this topic, which we feel is a real problem but nonetheless also exaggerated by sensational, mostly foreign reporting.

Nonetheless, we like to share interesting twists on this familiar trope.

Something like half of married couples are no longer having sex, the studies would have us believe. But this may start younger, since one survey apparently claimed the majority of college students are virgins.

This is now developed by newly announced research by the National Fertility Survey of Japan that says one in ten of people in Japan in their thirties has “never had heterosexual sex.”

That doesn’t meant they are all actually virgins, since the survey tellingly did not cover gay sexual experience (that is, same-sex intercourse) — which may well be around 10% of people in their thirties. (Moreover, the survey did not ask respondents if they were currently sexually active, only about their sexual history. This might alter the results a little.)

So we highlight this research, carried out in seven rounds between 1987 and 2015, to indicate some of the problems with these surveys and the need to look beyond the headlines.

In 2015, 11.9% of women aged 30-34 and 12.7% of men in the same age group reported having had no heterosexual sexual experience, the data showed.

In the 35-39 age bracket, the figures were 8.9% for women and 9.5% for men.

In both age brackets, the number of self-reported virgins had increased by several percentage points from the earlier surveys conducted in 1987 or 1992.

Each round of the survey is administered to people aged 18-39 years old, and in total the researchers from the University of Tokyo found around a quarter of men and women in that demographic reported having never had heterosexual intercourse in 2015.

For some context, here is American data.

Data from the United States, for example, found just 1.9% of women aged 30-34 and 0.9% of women aged 35-39 reported no sexual partners of the opposite sex.

The figures for American men were just 3.1% for those aged 30-34 and 1.4% for those between 35 and 39.

The study rather intriguingly suggested that, when compared to data in other developed nations, “Japanese adults tend to become sexually active later in life and that a substantially larger proportion remain heterosexually inexperienced into their thirties.” So does this mean your sex life will get better after 40? Let’s hope so.

But the report does clarify that sexual inexperience among those under 40 in Japan seems to be on the rise. If true, even in part, this does not bode well for the government’s efforts to tackle the low birthrate.

The researchers tried to grope for some causes, noting a “correlation between sex and money, with men more likely to have had intercourse if they had permanent, full-time employment.” Logical, perhaps, but we were much more sexually active when we had less money — partly because we were working fewer hours and were able to hit up Tokyo’s nightlife on a more regular basis.

It was only a matter of time before someone came up with a way of linking maid cafes and hostess bars with digital idols and adult virtual reality.

Behold the VR hostess cafe.

Yumenographia is not a physical space, but exists purely in a digital realm: it’s waiting for your patronage whenever and wherever you put on a VR headset. It is staffed by hostesses/maids who are, of course, entirely “fake” — in the sense that they are digital avatars. But, and this is a big “but,” the hostesses are real in the sense that they are the avatars of genuine people, rather than characters. At some remote location, women also apparently wearing Oculus Rift headsets to control the avatars and interact with the customers in real time.

Given that a lot of “women” in dating sites and pay-to-use chat rooms in Japan were exposed as fake (that is, actually men), we wonder if these employees are actually female. The people behind this scheme will somehow need to ensure transparency without breaking the fantasy of the characters.

So in theory, Yumenographia means you are drinking or eating with a real woman — but who happens to look like a perfect anime idol.

There are no details available yet about a launch/open date or about pricing. After all, how do you put a price on a digital experience?

In the meantime, Ichikawa, the company behind Yumenographia, is set to hold some preview events in Tokyo on April 19th, April 20th, April 29th, and April 30th. They also offered a taste with a brief video clip posted on Twitter, which garnered a strong response.

What they show off to the public later this month may well constitute the future of maid cafes and hostess bars.

Who doesn’t like to get clean? And getting clean intimately with someone else is even more fun, hence the soapland is such a wonderful experience. Seriously, you haven’t lived until you’ve tried a nurunuru massage at least once.

One of the features of a soapland can be a stool for the male client to sit on while his female partner attends to his special region. The stool is designed to allow particularly close access to his under-area.

We spotted our friends at Kanojo Toys offering a great update on this seat: the Luxury Sex Chair. It’s deluxe but also minimal.

The new style of soapland-inspired stool, which is available in clear or brown versions, is even more open, meaning you and your partner can have more comfortable foreplay or even full sex with the chair. Unlike similar seats, this one is particularly suitable for a woman to use as the “receiving” partner in a session.

Its thick acrylic material makes it stable for any need and, thanks to anti-slip rubber, also safe for use in a bathroom.

The Luxury Sex Chair is available now from Kanojo Toys.

NMB48’s Miru Shiroma is hoping to establish herself as a stand-out star in her own right among the very crowded AKB league of idols with her debut photo book.

Lavishly shot on the Gold Coast of Australia, the 21-year-old’s unnamed first photo book will be released in Japan on June 19th.

Clearly hoping to up the sales and her fan numbers by revealing some bust, the preview shots that have now appeared position Miru as a seductress Down Under. Goodbye cute, hello sexy.

What do you think of this new direction for Miru?

Until more images for the as-yet untitled book become available, here are few older shots to keep you satisfied.

The latest example of the transition from music idol to adult video idol is Eri Haruno, formerly of the girl group SAY-LA.

She makes her porn debut this month with “The Last Idol Debut” (84MKMP00270), released April 12th by the label million. As is typical, Haruno changed her professional name as part of her career switch and now goes by the moniker Uta Yumemita (夢見照うた).

We like her hinnyu flat chest with its pointy nipples.

As Eri Haruno, she was a member of SAY-LA for most of 2015. Now as Yuta Yumemita, perhaps she has a brighter future ahead of her…

A scandal can derail any career but the world of idols (music or gravure) is particularly sensitive to such scandals, especially those involving sex or drugs. Heaven help you if it is revealed you have a boyfriend. You may have to shave your head or quit the industry.

Related to this, we stumbled upon an interesting example of what happens when an idol is “freed” from the shackles of an agency.

The minor idol Sayuri Madoka announced that she had left her management agency on April 7th, ostensibly because her “real job” had become too busy. Regardless of the truth behind this, what is interesting is what happened next.

The 24-year-old, who apparently entered the gravure industry in 2017 and released three “image videos,” started posting barely censored nude selfies and lurid images of her enjoying herself with a male partner. Can we speculate that it was the presence of this man that prompted Sayuri to quit (or be fired)? After all, she clearly wanted to flaunt rather than hide her relationship — and good for her!

Either way, so now we know what it looks like, at least, to suck her breasts. Oh, to be that lucky guy’s ear!

She followed this with a post saying, literally, that she has a “medically recognized amazing pussy.” If only she would let us test that out.

If you thought that when Sola Aoi got married, you would see the last of her, think again.

The popular former adult video star is now heavily pregnant but isn’t content to sit back and wait for nature to take its course. No, even the imminent start of maternity is a way for her to connect with her legions of fans and, if we’re frank, take her fame (as in 655,000-Instagram-followers-level fame) to new extremes.

“Welcome to the world, Sola’s baby [sic],” says the publicity for Abema TV’s live broadcast of the birth of her twins. Yes, 35-year-old Sola (sometimes spelled Sora) is going to stream her birth to the entire world.

This is how the adult video legend currently looks, just days away from giving birth.

The live broadcast can be scheduled in advance because Sola Aoi has opted for a Caesarian section delivery on the due date, April 30th.

Do you want to see Japan’s one-time top porn star giving birth to twins? Then tune in on April 30th from 10pm on the Abema TV website. Considering how popular she remains outside Japan (especially China), we imagine Abema TV is going to get a lot of traffic from this broadcast.

Best of luck, Sola!

We can’t help but think that adult brand Maccos Japan was thinking about “baseball girl idol” Ami Inamura when they came up with the Upper Swing Sexy Batter Girl Onahole.

Femdom princess Ami Inamura is famous for her curvy body and powerful arms that let her swing and pitch very well. So just imagine how good she would be at jerking you off!

We’ve noticed in a very welcome increase in the popularity (or prominence) of certain Japanese models and idols who have sporty and athletic bodies. The latest example is the stunning Kazusa Okuyama.

We reckon this is all due to the approaching 2020 Tokyo Olympics.

But what about sporty onaholes and masturbator toys?

Well, they exist, as the Upper Swing Sexy Batter Girl Onahole more than amply demonstrates. This is a Japanese girl who is more than capable of hitting a few balls with her “arm tentacle.”

She is determined to take your member to a stadium full of nubs. Two big strike points on its inside will show you that she certainly knows how to hit a curveball, while the end of her love tunnel stimulates with a choice of two endings. Imagine each of your thrusts as moving you closer to that creampie home run!

The Upper Swing Sexy Batter Girl Onahole is available now from Kanojo Toys.

We all like to use our hands to grind out some pleasure. Now you are almost literally do this with an adult toy that is brilliantly low-fi yet effective.

The Generator Onahole is fitted with a hank crank that lets you grind the inside of the toy around your member for incredibly enhanced stimulation.

Given the likelihood of total planetary collapse in a couple of generations’ time, we may not have the means of electricity left to power regular sex machines. Perhaps the Generator Onahole truly is the future in all its stripped-down tech glory.

It is available in four versions, all with awesome names: Mystery Cyclone, Twin Spiral, Feather Tornado, and Splash Typhoon.

You can enjoy a “powered” hole sensation without needing to worry about actual batteries or staying near a power outlet. Pick one of the four versions with varying inside structures depending on your preference – and let the good times roll!

The Generator Onahole is available now from our friends at Kanojo Toys.